QM 39 - "That's all he ever wanted out of life... was love."

[prodigalwatcher]

39 - "That's all he ever wanted out of life... was love." - 'Citizen Kane'

Wesley wrote two letters on the day he died. While Illyria rested in Spike's apartment, he posted the first. The second, he burned.

Dearest Father,

By the time you receive this missive, it is almost certain that I will be dead.

Know first that while I met my end with every knowledge of that being the ultimate outcome of my actions, your son did not in any way take his own life in some cowardly or selfish suicide. I was killed by the hand of an enemy and while in battle against the evil forces our family has stood against for generations.

It is likely that the Council's sources have already learned of the campaign that Angel, I and our comrades recently waged upon the Senior Partners of Wolfram & Hart and against their agents upon this world, the Circle of the Black Thorn. Beyond my own demise and one other, I cannot speak to either the efficacy nor the final result of our machinations. If we succeeded, even in the least, we have dealt a blow against the darkness that, while certainly impermanent, will not be soon forgotten by our enemies.

Should I have fallen, it will have been in the Los Angeles mansion of a powerful sorcerer known as Cyvus Vail. It was my part of the larger plan to do away with the demon magic-user, one of the Circle's most powerful members. I faced him, Father, with both the martial skills and the mystical training I began to develop through your own tutelage. I am confident as I write this letter that if I did not succeed in killing Vail, I at the least hurt him sufficiently to remove him from the board.

Also, Father, considering the Circle's dubious relationship with the authorities, it is possible my remains might still be at Vail's, for you to place in repose as you see fit. I understand that as I was no longer a Watcher at the time of my death, I will not be laid to rest in the family plot. I accept this.

My last will and testament has been delivered to the Council's solicitors to be executed.

I have always striven to live up to your expectations and, more importantly, your example. I can only hold out the hope that at least in my last moments, I might have been the son you always wanted. If not, then you can rest assured you'll have no more need to concern yourself with me.

Please give my love to Mother.

Regards,
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce
Los Angeles, California, USA

If Illyria smelled the smoke or later noticed the ash of the second letter in the sink, Wesley did not know.

Darling Fred,

I write this letter for myself, though it's addressed to you, and I imagine that if you were around to see me go through this exercise, you would find it endearing. At the very least, I hope you would see it as my assertion that you are the one person in the world with whom I would wish to express my true final thoughts before the battle commences.

Tonight, I accept the dinner invitation of Cyvus Vail, the sorcerer who undid and remade the existence of Connor to remove the boy from our hearts and memories. As part of the Circle of the Black Thorn, Vail is one of our primary targets in this offensive against the Senior Partners and it is known that the Circle considers me to be one of the weaker links in Angel's personnel. I intend to show him just how incorrect an assumption that was to make.

I'm going to die tonight, Fred. I know it in my bones, in every fibre of my being. And I am unafraid. Although I will spend the next few hours preparing all my weapons-- both the mundane mortal firearms and other implements with which I have become so proficient and with the magical tricks I will keep up my sleeve until the most opportune moment-- I truly need only two things to walk into this fight with head high and heart at ease.

The first is the knowledge that I will be dying for the right cause, the cause to which I have dedicated my life. We will hurt them tonight, Fred, in a manner in which they have never been hurt before. And although we may only stagger the Senior Partners, not for a hundred thousand years will they forget by whose hands they were dealt that blow. In all my life, I have striven only to do the right thing. Facing Vail is the right thing, and will aid Angel in his mission. There is no nobler purpose, and I gladly give my life in its pursuit.

The second is my firm belief that once I have shuffled off this mortal coil, I will at last be reunited with you. I love you, Fred, with my very heart and soul. I have prayed often since you left that somehow, before the end, you knew this. The fate which awaits me tonight insures that I will soon have the chance to tell you myself when, should the Powers That Be prove willing, I see you again on the other side of this plane. There is nothing left in this world for me, now that you have gone.

I will see you soon, my heart.

Love,
Wesley

Later that night, as he entered Vail's mansion, Wesley suppressed the smile of satisfaction that had found its way onto his face.


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