prodigalwatcher | QM 30 - "If someone loved you very much..."

30 - "If someone loved you very much, so that your happiness was the only thing that [they] wanted in the world, but [they] did a bad thing to make certain of it, could you forgive [them]?" - 'Casablanca'

Dear Connor,

My name is Wesley-Wyndam Pryce, and as I understand from your father, you do recall me and recall our history, and so I must begin by apologizing. No child-- no young man, rather-- should have to remember such things as have happened in your short and turbulent life, particularly those events in which I had a hand. I'm sorry, Connor, for all that I have done to you.

I am leaving you this message in the full knowledge that by the time it reaches your hands, I may very likely be already dead. Your father, I understand, is with you even as I set these words down, saying what amounts to his goodbyes to you, his beloved son. All of us, we few who stand beside your father, are preparing ourselves for the greatest battle of our lives-- one from which none of us is sure to return. And while the others seek out those with whom to make their peace, or to fulfill whatever unanswered desires they might have, or simply to enjoy a day amongst the living, I felt that there was nothing in the world left that would satisfy me ere I go, as it were.

And while I continue to believe that is true, I have come to recognise that I do have some unfinished business. One of those matters is this missive to you, Connor.

I find that I cannot bring myself to ask for your forgiveness when, in fact, I do not myself feel that I deserve it. The harm I visited upon you as an infant is without a doubt as terrible an act as can be perpetrated. I presumed to be able to protect you and serve you better than your own flesh and blood. I stole you from home and family and conspired to take you away from all that you had ever known. And in my hubris, I was instrumental in delivering your infant life into the hands of your father's most bitter and vicious enemy. Your time in Quor'toth, the enmity between your father and yourself, the hate for Angel fostered by Holtz in that hell dimension, are trespasses I lay at my own feet, as well.

I did it to protect you, Connor. That is not an excuse, nor even a good explanation, it is simply a truth with which to give you context for a single, misguided man's actions. The false prophecies were designed for the very purpose of making me doubt Angel's ability to control himself. With every passing day after discovering the fateful words that had been written aeons ago specifically for me to find, I feared more and more for your welfare. I made myself believe that the only safe haven for you would be somewhere your father was not.

You understand now, Connor, about the world into which you were born. Your father pits himself and his will against the darkest, vilest powers in Creation. He and those of us fortunate enough to call him comrade stand between the waking world and the walking nightmares. It is a life of sacrifice and sorrow, and you... you were sunlight. With sunlight came hope, and an oasis of contentment we had not known in a very long time.

All of us doted upon you, Angel and Cordelia most of all, but I can tell you that few roles have satisfied me more than "Uncle Wesley". We all adored you, and would have done anything for you. And when one of us did, it all went terribly wrong.

If you can, Connor, please think kindly of me as you read this. Remember me as a flawed, imperfect man who did what he believed was right. Should you do so, then I will count myself fortunate indeed.

Goodbye, young man. Live a good, long and happy life for me, and for all of us.

Yours truly,
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce

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OOC Note: Mun and Meta comments only, please.