TM 203 - Intrigue
Nov. 9th, 2007 12:20 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
prodigalwatcher203 - Intrigue
Is a relationship really a "secret" if one is doing very little to nothing to hide it?
Although, I suppose, that simply not advertising the existence of said relationship to a certain segment of one's acquaintances is, in effect, a passive way of hiding the truth. In that light, then, such a situation would then indeed qualify as an "intrigue" in that sense.
It's difficult to name and justify the various reasons I began sleeping with Lilah Morgan. No, that's not entirely correct. In point of fact, I could very reasonably spend quite a bit of time stating them and their psychological underpinnings in my own situation. The difficulty, then, would lie in the enumerating of such things, and in paring them down to the most salient points, although I will attempt such.
There is a school of thought amongst those who analyse and treat addiction that once an individual has hit "rock bottom", then they have no other emotional recourse than to begin pulling themselves up by their boot straps. This, of course, requires the individual in question to not only recognise the direness of their situation, but to experience the so-called "moment of clarity", after which they are able to see the path to their own redemption.
Of course, without that magical moment, very often the individual at the bottom tends to decide that since he or she has already fallen so far, the distance back up must be insurmountable. And so, they choose to remain exactly where they are-- often times, reveling in their own despair. Since it can't get any worse, they tell themselves, nothing I do can make things any worse.
At the same time, the person at the rock bottom may be capable of recognising that he or she has done something terrible and perhaps unforgivable in their descent to the bottom and deserves punishment. And if that punishment cannot come from the party that has been wronged, then it can be self-imposed.
Lilah was there. Lilah was evil. Lilah listened and sympathised. Lilah worked for and was a pawn of Wolfram & Hart, and had on more than one occasion, taken part in their plans against Angel and the rest of us. Lilah looked at the man I had become, broken and torn, darkened and hardened, and did not flinch. Lilah never stopped pushing me in the direction of Wolfram & Hart, and would have recruited me if she could. Lilah, I know, never wanted me to give in and join up, because she knew it would kill me.
She didn't forgive. She didn't condemn.
Lilah was the natural progression of my damnation, and the cross I bore for seeking damnation out.
(457)
Is a relationship really a "secret" if one is doing very little to nothing to hide it?
Although, I suppose, that simply not advertising the existence of said relationship to a certain segment of one's acquaintances is, in effect, a passive way of hiding the truth. In that light, then, such a situation would then indeed qualify as an "intrigue" in that sense.
It's difficult to name and justify the various reasons I began sleeping with Lilah Morgan. No, that's not entirely correct. In point of fact, I could very reasonably spend quite a bit of time stating them and their psychological underpinnings in my own situation. The difficulty, then, would lie in the enumerating of such things, and in paring them down to the most salient points, although I will attempt such.
There is a school of thought amongst those who analyse and treat addiction that once an individual has hit "rock bottom", then they have no other emotional recourse than to begin pulling themselves up by their boot straps. This, of course, requires the individual in question to not only recognise the direness of their situation, but to experience the so-called "moment of clarity", after which they are able to see the path to their own redemption.
Of course, without that magical moment, very often the individual at the bottom tends to decide that since he or she has already fallen so far, the distance back up must be insurmountable. And so, they choose to remain exactly where they are-- often times, reveling in their own despair. Since it can't get any worse, they tell themselves, nothing I do can make things any worse.
At the same time, the person at the rock bottom may be capable of recognising that he or she has done something terrible and perhaps unforgivable in their descent to the bottom and deserves punishment. And if that punishment cannot come from the party that has been wronged, then it can be self-imposed.
Lilah was there. Lilah was evil. Lilah listened and sympathised. Lilah worked for and was a pawn of Wolfram & Hart, and had on more than one occasion, taken part in their plans against Angel and the rest of us. Lilah looked at the man I had become, broken and torn, darkened and hardened, and did not flinch. Lilah never stopped pushing me in the direction of Wolfram & Hart, and would have recruited me if she could. Lilah, I know, never wanted me to give in and join up, because she knew it would kill me.
She didn't forgive. She didn't condemn.
Lilah was the natural progression of my damnation, and the cross I bore for seeking damnation out.
(457)
