TM 225 - Without Words
Apr. 7th, 2008 02:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
prodigalwatcher225 - "Do not the most moving moments of our lives find us without words?" - Marcel Marceau
Can't talk with your throat cut, you know, so I suppose I didn't have much of a choice.
But then again, what would I have said if I were able? I'd already committed an act of betrayal so terrible that I'd felt incapable of revealing my intentions to anyone, including friends I treasured beyond words and beyond family. I had already struck a deal with Angel's enemy and stolen Angel's infant son. And then-- almost inevitably, in hindsight-- that I myself had been betrayed, and had been played for a dupe.
Once Justine's knife had done its work, and I'd been left to die an ignominious death, what would I have said?
"Please, you have to understand-- the prophecy was clear and there was no possibility I made a mistake. I love Connor as if he were my own son, you know that, and I would never do anything to hurt any of you or compromise our work unless it were absolutely necessary. Angel was a danger to his son's safety, and I knew... I knew that you all would want Connor's life protected above all else. I needed to move quickly and decisively before anything could happen.
I couldn't tell any of you, not without risking the possibility that Angel was already far gone enough to do Connor harm. For all I knew, the mere suggestion would have triggered it. And we all know that if Angel chose to do any of us harm, there would be precious little any of us could do to stop it.
I could not allow Connor to come to harm, and I certainly couldn't allow it to be at Angel's hands. I know I failed. I know I made a terrible mistake in even considering that Justine and Holtz could be trustworthy. And I can not be sure that coming to you might not have been for the best.
You don't have to forgive me, but please hear me. Please listen. Please understand.
Please don't leave me to die."
Perhaps I might have said that, or part of that, or more than that. Perhaps it might even have helped.
(356)
Can't talk with your throat cut, you know, so I suppose I didn't have much of a choice.
But then again, what would I have said if I were able? I'd already committed an act of betrayal so terrible that I'd felt incapable of revealing my intentions to anyone, including friends I treasured beyond words and beyond family. I had already struck a deal with Angel's enemy and stolen Angel's infant son. And then-- almost inevitably, in hindsight-- that I myself had been betrayed, and had been played for a dupe.
Once Justine's knife had done its work, and I'd been left to die an ignominious death, what would I have said?
"Please, you have to understand-- the prophecy was clear and there was no possibility I made a mistake. I love Connor as if he were my own son, you know that, and I would never do anything to hurt any of you or compromise our work unless it were absolutely necessary. Angel was a danger to his son's safety, and I knew... I knew that you all would want Connor's life protected above all else. I needed to move quickly and decisively before anything could happen.
I couldn't tell any of you, not without risking the possibility that Angel was already far gone enough to do Connor harm. For all I knew, the mere suggestion would have triggered it. And we all know that if Angel chose to do any of us harm, there would be precious little any of us could do to stop it.
I could not allow Connor to come to harm, and I certainly couldn't allow it to be at Angel's hands. I know I failed. I know I made a terrible mistake in even considering that Justine and Holtz could be trustworthy. And I can not be sure that coming to you might not have been for the best.
You don't have to forgive me, but please hear me. Please listen. Please understand.
Please don't leave me to die."
Perhaps I might have said that, or part of that, or more than that. Perhaps it might even have helped.
(356)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-04-08 12:13 am (UTC)Morbid much?I really don't know what to tell you, Wesley. Talking to Angel might have helped, maybe? I don't know. I wasn't there.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-08 06:03 am (UTC)The thoughts of a man as he bleeds to death under a bush in a park tend not to be very sunny.No one can know, that's the trouble. Things might have turned out for the better, or the prophecy might have been true and he would have torn my throat out.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-08 06:07 am (UTC)Okay, Gwen was right. You've changed.Wait, what? Who would have torn your throat out? Angel? No way.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-08 06:43 am (UTC)I have. Although I'm not always so dour.That was the fear-- that the prophecy would come to pass and I would not be able to stop him from becoming something terrible.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-08 07:00 am (UTC)One can hope.Again, no way. It's Angel, he would never hurt anyone he cares abou--
*sighs*
[Locked]
Okay, nevermind. Just don't tell Angel I said that. The whole Angelus thing, you know?
no subject
Date: 2008-04-08 08:24 pm (UTC)I'm surprised Gwen didn't mention that, too.[Locked]
Trust me, after my own experiences with Angelus, I've no intention of stirring the monster.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-08 01:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-08 06:04 am (UTC)Locked
Date: 2008-04-08 12:11 pm (UTC)The thing is, I figure they should have known you wouldn't have done anything to hurt Connor. They should have known you.
Re: Locked
Date: 2008-04-08 08:26 pm (UTC)But thank you for the words, Gwen.
Re: Locked
Date: 2008-04-08 10:07 pm (UTC)[ooc: LOL. Gwen was like SEE This is why I don't open myself up. People will bite you in the ass and think the worst at the first opportunity.]
Re: Locked
Date: 2008-04-08 10:59 pm (UTC)OOC: Oh, I'm sure she was thinking that. And it's kinda cute she got a little protective of him, too. *L*
no subject
Date: 2008-04-08 06:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-08 08:25 pm (UTC)