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prodigalwatcher79 - "I shall love her until the day I die. That's the tragedy." - 'The Scarlet Pimpernel'
"Would you like me to lie to you now?"
Oh, what a question.
Every step of the way in my life, I had struggled to live up to an ideal, something that had been ingrained into my thinking since childhood: do what is right. Sometimes that meant just, and sometimes it meant fair, and sometimes it meant heartless or calculating or even cruel. Almost never did it mean convenient, or easy or pleasing. Only right.
When I discovered, to my horror, Illyria's uncanny ability to mimic Fred, there was no question at all what the right thing to do was. Even if she had only been able to produce a likeness of Fred Burkle, it would have been unacceptable, but the impersonation-- no, the transformation was so complete and terrifyingly accurate that it pulled at every nerve in my body. I forbade her to ever change that way again.
Did it dishonour the memory of her? Yes. Was it a falsehood and deception? Yes.
But those were not the true reasons I told Illyria to "be blue". It was because I could not stand to have her back and know she would only vanish again. I was not a strong enough man to resist temptation. I would ask her to lie, again and again, and somehow, I knew Illyria would do so at my behest.
It was the right thing to do, forbidding the lie.
"Would you like me to lie to you now?"
I was no longer a living man, facing the remainder of my days as guide and companion to the fallen god-king. I was no longer the former Watcher, the former hunter, the former prodigal son, the former would-be Champion. I was dying, my final mission ending in failure. There was nothing of me left.
I had sinned too greatly to believe there was much left for me on the other side. So why not complete my fall? Why not choose the wrong thing?
Would it be so bad, I asked myself, here at the end?
I would be selfish. I would take what I could from the world before I left it.
I had been wrong about so many things in my life, this one last act seemed a trifle.
The wrong thing to do.
"Would you like me to lie to you now?"
"Yes... Thank you, yes..."
(361, not including direct quotes)
"Would you like me to lie to you now?"
Oh, what a question.
Every step of the way in my life, I had struggled to live up to an ideal, something that had been ingrained into my thinking since childhood: do what is right. Sometimes that meant just, and sometimes it meant fair, and sometimes it meant heartless or calculating or even cruel. Almost never did it mean convenient, or easy or pleasing. Only right.
When I discovered, to my horror, Illyria's uncanny ability to mimic Fred, there was no question at all what the right thing to do was. Even if she had only been able to produce a likeness of Fred Burkle, it would have been unacceptable, but the impersonation-- no, the transformation was so complete and terrifyingly accurate that it pulled at every nerve in my body. I forbade her to ever change that way again.
Did it dishonour the memory of her? Yes. Was it a falsehood and deception? Yes.
But those were not the true reasons I told Illyria to "be blue". It was because I could not stand to have her back and know she would only vanish again. I was not a strong enough man to resist temptation. I would ask her to lie, again and again, and somehow, I knew Illyria would do so at my behest.
It was the right thing to do, forbidding the lie.
"Would you like me to lie to you now?"
I was no longer a living man, facing the remainder of my days as guide and companion to the fallen god-king. I was no longer the former Watcher, the former hunter, the former prodigal son, the former would-be Champion. I was dying, my final mission ending in failure. There was nothing of me left.
I had sinned too greatly to believe there was much left for me on the other side. So why not complete my fall? Why not choose the wrong thing?
Would it be so bad, I asked myself, here at the end?
I would be selfish. I would take what I could from the world before I left it.
I had been wrong about so many things in my life, this one last act seemed a trifle.
The wrong thing to do.
"Would you like me to lie to you now?"
"Yes... Thank you, yes..."
(361, not including direct quotes)
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no subject
Date: 2008-09-03 11:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-04 06:55 am (UTC)